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Women of Mormonism
Chapter 10 - Still in the Toils
THE WOMEN OF MORMONISM:
or
THE STORY OF POLYGAMY
As Told by the Victims Themselves.
Edited By
JENNIE ANDERSON FROISETH
Editor of the Anti-Polygamy Standard, Salt Lake City,
PUBLISHED BY
C.G.G. PAINE, DETROIT, MICH.
1886
Copyright, 1881 and 1882
By Jennie Anderson Froiseth
Help of the Nation
Needed.-Timidity of the Women Still in the Church.-Their Despair.-An Infatuated Wife.-A
Sad Story.-Wives without Legal Rights.-The Third Wife.
[116] YOU have heard the stories
of some who had the courage to come out from these abominations. Now listen to the appeals
of those whom circumstances prevent from breaking their shackles, but who would gladly be
free, would our Government but vouchsafe to them assistance and protection.
The saying, " Who would be free, themselves must strike the
blow," is undoubtedly true in the majority of cases; yet the questions seem
pertinent, Are all those in bondage so circumstanced that they can or will "strike
the blow"? and if freedom is not to be theirs, except through their own courage and
resistance, must they forever remain in fetters?
Had the abolition of slavery in the South depended entirely upon the
slaves’ striking for freedom, they would have remained in bondage until this day.
There are thousands of women who abhor polygamy in their innermost hearts, who feel that
they [117] have been deeply wronged and deceived, who appreciate the degrading bondage in
which they are held, yet who, from the force of existing circumstances, cannot, unaided,
strike the blow that is to procure their liberation. Help must come from a mightier arm
than theirs. The blow must be dealt with the entire might of the nation !
The second class of the women of Mormonism,-those who are still in
the church, and who, perhaps, believe in all the tenets of that creed except polygamy,-are
entitled to heartfelt sympathy and commiseration from every true woman in the land.
Some of these, the majority, no doubt, have been entangled in its
vile meshes; and they hate, yes loathe, the .system, but remain bread for their children.
The life of these women is a perpetual lie, and an outrage against every womanly feeling.
They are obliged to deceive others constantly, and sometimes try to reconcile matters by
deceiving themselves, but are continually doing all sorts of things against their better
nature. They would greatly rejoice if polygamy was abolished; but they will not, or dare
not, lift one finger in aid of their own deliverance.
Taking all things into consideration, perhaps they are not to be
censured as much as people might imagine. They are very timid, because so many years of
tyranny and oppression have robbed them of power to act or think for themselves, even in
vindication of their own rights.
Nine-tenths of the women who have been Mormons [118] have completely
sunk their own identity in that of their masters. And though some of them are, in a great
measure, unwilling slaves, they are securely bound, hand and foot, body and soul, and show
no greater desire to burst their shackles than do the degraded few who pretend that they
love their chains and would not accept freedom if offered to them.
Another reason is, they deem the attempt hopeless, and do not
anticipate or look forward to anything better than the miserable existence they are now
dragging out. They have long been taught that human law is powerless to interfere with the
divine institution, and this assertion is verified in the repeated failures of Congress to
enact efficient statutes.
If they should take an open position against polygamy, the limited
support given them by their husbands would be withdrawn, and the church vials of slander
and detraction poured forth upon their defenseless heads. A polygamist usually provides
shelter, flour, and perhaps fuel for his families (other things they must obtain
themselves), and a mother with little children will hesitate before taking a step that
will deprive her even of these.
The Mormon emissaries abroad invariably lay much stress upon the
point that the polygamists " support their wives and acknowledge their
children.” We assert, and challenge a contradiction of the assertion, that not more
than one polygamist in ten furnishes his families with more than flour and fuel, and than
[119] not one in a hundred furnishes anything approaching an adequate support.
If these women had only the least idea, or the faintest hope, that
the overthrow of the Mormon theocracy would ever be accomplished, some of them would no
doubt come out and join the Anti-Polygamy ranks. But they have no faith whatever in
Congress, and if the truth must be told, very little respect for a Government that cannot
or will not enforce its own laws.
So they go on, bearing their burdens as best they may. If they have
been in any manner instrumental in the husbands' entering polygamy, they are the more
backward in openly condemning it. They are angry with themselves, and are often willing to
acknowledge that they have been foolish; but they will not identify themselves with any
movement for the suppression of the system that has ruined their happiness.
An incident illustrative of this point came under our notice not long
ago. We accidentally became acquainted with a woman who told us her story frankly. She had
once been a fanatical Mormon; and at a time when several of her neighbors were taking
plural wives, she urged her husband to do the same, in order to give him future
exaltation.
"One woman," she said, "as ignorant and superstitious
as myself, taunted me because my husband did not have any prospects of a future kingdom,
and so I never gave him any rest until he went into polygamy. [120] " And yet it was
a severe trial to me. When the time came, I had a terrible struggle with myself before I
could go to the Endowment House with them. But I was so infatuated, or rather fanatical,
that I really thought I was doing God service, by subduing my own feelings and conquering
the flesh, in giving my husband to another,
and thus preparing a glorious future for us both.
"I had not been ignorant of the evil effects of the system in
other families; but when I saw the same things occurring in my own, when I found myself in
part supplanted by another woman, when discord and wrangling began to disturb the harmony
of the household, I began to have my doubts regarding the divinity of the ordinance. I
soon felt convinced that an institution which was productive of so much unhappiness could
not be from God, and that no amount of bliss or exaltation in the next world could repay
women for the misery and degradation they endure in this.
"And now," she continued, " I see my folly. The money
which should go to support my children, is given to the second wife, and I am obliged to
work hard from morning till night, and sometimes until nearly morning again, to provide
necessaries for them. My husband is a good man, but of course he must also do something
for his other family; and how can a laboring man support so many in any kind of comfort?
Yes, I have seen the evils of polygamy and almost wish I had buried my husband before he
entered it."
[121] "If you do not now believe in it as a religious principle,
why are you not honest? Why not come out openly and join the Anti-Polygamy Movement ?
" we inquired.
"Because," she answered, "I caused my husband to go
into it, and I must now bear the consequences of my own folly. If I should do anything of
that kind, he would leave me entirely, for he is still a good Mormon, and for that, so am
I. Though he is in polygamy, he is the husband of my youth, and I love him yet, for he is
as good as any man could be under the circumstances. It was my fault that both of our
lives have been in a measure ruined, and I will bear the consequences to the end, or until
the United States Government will make provision for women to come out of polygamy
peaceably and honorably."
Now, here was a woman who hated polygamy, was fully conscious of all
its evils, did not believe in it as a religious ordinance, and yet could not under any
circumstances be induced to join the movement for its suppression. And this woman is only
one of thousands in Utah, whose very existence is torture, and to whom eternity means only
a continuation of that tyranny and suffering which has already crushed the womanhood out
of them.
Can any woman, loving and beloved, in the shelter of a pure
uncontaminated home, read the following narrative of a first wife, and not lift up her
voice in denunciation of that terrible demon which crushes woman's hearts beneath its iron
heel, and [122] then laughs at the despairing agony of their tortured soul? Can any
Christian woman, who believes in the truth of the sentence, " God is Love," read
the ensuing pages and not realize that she is personally called upon to use all her
influence for the extermination of a monster that permits such atrocities to be
perpetuates in the name of' GOD and RELIGION ?-
“I should like to tell, through your pages, the sad story of my
life, ;f you will permit me to do so without betraying my identity. I do not wish to do
that, because I am still a, Mormon, at least I am bound to the Mormon .church by
innumerable ties of kindred, and by the friendships and associations of many years, and at
my time of life I should find it hard to break them. As to my identity, I suppose it does
not much matter any way, for it may be merged in that of hundreds of other Mormon women in
Utah, whose history is perhaps even more pitiable than mine, who, though their hearts are
broken, still live on.
"More than twenty-five years ago, when I was a bright-eyed,
round-cheeked girl of eighteen, I gave my hand in marriage to the only man I ever loved Ah
! if I could only then have looked down the long vista of troubled years to the cruel end!
But I could not; what young girl can, as she stands upon the threshold of that awful
mystery which marriage makes a reality?
"For more than twenty years I bore the burden of motherhood. The
little ones came thick and fast, [123]
but, with a patience that love makes possible, I bore the
oft-repeated pangs of maternity, and as I laid each new-born baby in my husband's arms,
and saw his smile of pleasure that another jewel had been added to his crown, I thanked my
God that I could thus give evidence of the love I bore him. From out the very depths of
unearthly agony, I gave his children being, and then through the long, tedious nights that
followed the birth of each new life, I lay with my babe at my breast, nursing away my
health and strength, while my husband slept peacefully beside me, dreamlessly indifferent
to my broken slumber and weary unrest. Or if he gave it one thought, it was to satisfy his
conscience with the assurance that 'Woman is formed for the burdens she is to bear.'
"O men! men! do you not know that in the next life., at the
judgment-seat of God, you must answer for the lives of the women you have murdered through
your ungoverned lust, because might on the one hand, and some form of marriage on the
other, have made you the masters? Does the reality of a woman's life-long love and
devotion weigh nothing against the expected joys of a possible heaven hereafter? It seems
not, in our creed at least; for like Henry the Eighth, the Mormon policy is,
‘Sacrifice the mothers if it must be, but give us children.' Yes, and it might be
added, 'Give us children to grow up without any home ties or associations, without any
fatherly love, care, or tenderness; to be nursed in sorrow, reared in poverty and
[124] wretchedness; and when they reach maturity, to curse the
parents who entailed upon them such a heritage of sin and misery!'
"Thus, during all these years, I bore children to my husband,
watched over and tended them in infancy and illness, taught them to be pure and good,
worked and toiled that house and little ones might be always bright and sweet for my
husband's home-coming. With a patient energy born of love, I struggled to make home the
fairest and dearest spot on earth to which my husband's and children's hearts should
always turn with a thrill of pride, and a feeling of sweet restfulness. Upon the altar of
his desires I sacrificed my will. I saw myself grow worn and haggard, old before my time.
I saw the roses fade from my cheeks, and the gold of my hair turn gray; and if, as I
watched these signs of approaching unloveliness, a fear crept into my heart, I stifled it
with the trust that they might only render me more dear to the man in whose service I had
received them.
"At last the burden of maternity was lifted from my tired
shoulders; the children were no longer little ones, but were fast approaching man's estate
and blooming girlhood, and I felt I might now begin to enjoy that perfect rest and quiet
which many years of servitude and devotion had won me. At last, after the weariness and
turmoil, would come the sweet peace for which I had so often longed, and which would now
be made doubly dear to me by my husband's love and tenderness.
[125] " But alas for the security of Mormon wifehood ! The dark
shadow which forever clouds our lives with an unspoken fear, may at any moment assume the
tangible shape of a demon, and shatter at one blow all our hopes of happiness. And it came
to me. At last the fear was to become for me an awful, living reality.
"It came one bright morning when I was so placidly happy,-when
my heart and life seemed in accord with nature's sunshine and gladness. I was alone in my
cosy sitting-room; it was very quiet and very pleasant there. My hands had dropped the
piece of sewing with which they had been busy, and lay idly folded on my lap; an unspoken
prayer of gratitude was in my heart. My trials were over, my toil was ended; for the
strong arms of my brave boys and sweet girls were busy even then lifting the burdens.
"The door opened softly, and my husband came in. Although always
a good, kind husband, his manner this morning seemed full of unusual warmth and
tenderness. As he sat down beside me and took my poor, worn hands in both his own, he
essayed to talk with a degree of cheerfulness which he evidently did not feel; for even as
he smiled, a look of sadness and trouble was on his face,-a look, perhaps, of pity for the
victim about to be sacrificed upon the altar of an unmerciful faith.
“Then gently, oh, so gently, he dealt the blow which left, in
place of a heart, the dull, aching thing I have since carried in my bosom. I had been to
[126] him a good and faithful wife, and we had been very happy together, he said, but I
was no longer young. I could give him no more children, and he felt it a duty which he
owed to God to take another and a younger woman, that the measure of our glory might be
full in the celestial kingdom.
"Much more he said, but the words were empty air. I felt only
the awful, cruel reality. This was the man for whose sake agony had been a joy, servitude
a pleasure, and sacrifices as nothing. This was my reward, as it may be the reward of any faithful Mormon wife. The reward which a hellish,
diabolical creed makes possible.
"I did not cry out, I did not faint, I did not even weep in the
extremity of my awful pain. I only felt the consciousness that by one swift stroke of the
hand that should have shielded me, my life-long love was turned to bitter loathing; the
fruit of a life's devotion had turned to ashes on my thirsting lips. My trust in a God who
could thus scourge me was shaken, and my faith in a creed that demanded it was smitten. I
was passive under the blow, for struggle as I might, it would avail me nothing.
"And then, the wish was in his heart. Since I could no longer serve him, it
was his desire that I should stand aside, and give to a younger and perhaps fairer woman,
my place as sovereign wife and mother.
"And did not my own and his religion sanction his right to make
this demand, and teach me to obey it ? I could have rebelled surely, but this [127] would
have brought only discord and contention to the only dear ones left me now, my children.
My burdens had been many, and this last one, though heavier than all, I would bear in
silence for their dear sakes.
"For the completion of my misery I had not long to wait. The
fair young wife was soon found and brought home. For her so young and fair, deserving a
better fate, I wept the tears I could not weep for myself. Bound like me by the fetters of
an unmerciful creed, she had usurped in good faith the place of a dethroned wife and
mother.
" ' How long, oh, how long, ill this land of boasted freedom,
shall such things be possible? ' is the dumb cry wrung from many a tortured heart in Utah.
How long shall woman be weighed clown with fetters that are forged by man's brutality and
lust? How long shall woman be obliged to smother the holiest instincts of womanhood, and
taught that to degenerate into mere child-bearers is fulfilling God's purpose? How long
shall a lustful and unscrupulous priesthood hold a rod of iron upon our souls in the name
of God and religion? Toward the noble men and women who, like yourselves, are making
earnest efforts in our behalf, the hearts of hundreds of Mormon wives go out daily with a
prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving. Though our lips seem dumb, we give you a silent
God-speed. Speed, oh, speed the day when our chains are broken and we are free! Come soon
as it may, for such as I it will be too late; but for our pure unsullied daughters we may
yet hope deliverance is possible."
[128] The woman who penned the above sketch is still considered a
good Mormon. As she says, it would be very difficult for her, at her time of life to bear
the consequences that would inevitably ensue if she attempted to rebel against her fate.
He husband would probably turn her out of doors without a dollar, and several of her
children are yet too young to care for themselves. The law could not give he any redress,
for since a polygamous legislature, in order to break down the distinction between lawful
wife and concubine, abolished the right of dower in the Territory, a wife has no claim
whatever on the estate of her husband, either living or dead. Should she sue for a
divorce, asking alimony, he could transfer every cent of his property to the second wife,
and swear he had nothing in the world. Consequently it is not to he wondered at, that
first wives are timid about openly condemning polygamy, and this particular case is only
one of thousands.
Another argument which is very successful in preventing the plural
wives from coming out of polygamy, is this: They are told that, as the system is not
legalized outside of the Mormon church, it is regarded in the world in the same light as
the social evil, and the plural wives are considered as fallen women. What aid or
protection is ever extended to women who have once deviated from the path of virtue, even
if they are desirous of leading pure lives again ? Leave the church if you please, but of
course you cannot expect the Saints to recognize apostates, and you need not think or hope
that the [129] Gentiles will associate with women whom they deem no better than
prostitutes. One single incident will illustrate with what success this argument is
employed.
A certain prominent Mormon married for his third wife a young girl of
sixteen who had been born and brought up in Mormonism. She was just an innocent child, and
entered polygamy with the purest of motives, fully believing that she was doing God
service, and securing her own future happiness. But after seeing the inner workings of the
system, and experiencing its horrors for a few years, she became convinced that instead of
being from God, it was only a device of man to pander to his own base passions. So she
determined to leave her husband. She told him her convictions, and said: "It would be
sin for me to live with you any longer, for I do not now believe in polygamy as a
religious principle. I am willing, to work for my own living; but cannot you, out of your
abundance, do something for the support of your and my children? He absolutely refused to
settle anything upon the little ones, or give her anything for their support. Being a
determined and plucky woman, she thought she would try to compel him to do what was only
right and just in the matter. So she went to one of the heads of the church, and laid the
case before him. It was rather a bold step for a woman to tell a. Mormon high-priest that
she disbelieved in polygamy, but she was a woman who would dare anything for the sake of
her children. He listened [130] to her story, then looked her full in the face and said:
“Sister H., you know that, in the church, you are a wife, honored and respected, and
your children are perfectly legitimate. Outside of it, you will be nothing but a common woman. A Latter-day Saint could not conscientiously contribute
to the support of the children of a prostitute. Do you not think you had better remain
where you are?
It may easily be perceived that this mode of reasoning exerts a
strong influence over women who have not the courage to face the world as “those who
have been living in sin.” This
statement, however, is a little exaggerated by the Mormons, for not all the Gentiles, by
any means, regard the polygamous wives as fallen women. Still, it must be admitted that
there is a measure of truth in it, and that outsiders, as a rule, look upon this class of
women as very much their inferiours socially. So
they say to themselves, We had better stay in the church, where we are regarded as wives,
than come out of it, and be treated as common women,- we and our children thrown on the
worked, helpless and despised. If there was a
law, leagalizing the offspring of plural wives, and compelling the husband to provide for
them in accordance with his means, we believe hundreds of plural women would not live
another day in polygamy.
Next: CHAPTER XI. FANATICISM
Degradation of the Fanatics.-Joseph Smith's Holiness.-Brigham Young's Opinion of
Joseph.-Mormonism Justifies Lying for the Truth.-No Cross, No Crown.-One Man the Husband
of Three Generations.-The Mormon Elder and His Wives.- Advice of a Mormon Woman.
Back: CHAPTER IX. EVIDENCE VS. STATEMENTS
Incident of the Endowment House.-Statement of a Mormon Bishop.-Testimony of a
Victim.-Result of a Second Marriage-Testimony of the United States District Attorney for
Utah
Index: INTRODUCTION AND TABLE OF CONTENTS
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