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Women of Mormonism
Chapter 6 - A Wife's Revenge
THE WOMEN OF MORMONISM:
or
THE STORY OF POLYGAMY
As Told by the Victims Themselves.
Edited By
JENNIE ANDERSON FROISETH
Editor of the Anti-Polygamy Standard, Salt Lake City,
PUBLISHED BY
C.G.G. PAINE, DETROIT, MICH.
1886
Copyright, 1881 and 1882
By Jennie Anderson Froiseth
Both Fanatic and
Fool.-A Husband's Promise - The Husband Ensnared.-Happiness of Polygamous Families. -
Sickness - The Vow.-English Mollie. - The Third Wife. - A Religious Enthusiast.
[74] IN the ensuing narrative of a first wife we design to show
the evil effect o£ the system on those living in it, and who may have once
advocated it from a conscientious motive. It was originally published under the
title of "What Polygamy has done for
Women”
"Since reading some articles in the Anti-Polygamy Standard
on the evil effects of polygamy, I have been considering a great deal, and at
last have come to the conclusion that it is my duty to relate my experience on
this point, and tell what the dreadful system has done for me. It is a very
difficult task for a woman to write herself down either a fanatic or a fool, and
I have been both; yet still, I appreciate the fact that the horrors of the
system can never be fully ventilated or truly told, unless we women who have
been mixed up with it are willing to put our shoulders to the wheel, and help on
the good work by exposing its iniquities to the [75] world. No other
consideration on earth could induce me to acknowledge what a dupe, and afterward
what a virago I was, except the hope that it may, perhaps, have some influence
in preventing another woman from sharing the same fate. I wish only that the
Standard could be placed in the hands of every young girl in this Territory.
Hundreds of them would gladly read it, and profit by its teachings, if it were
placed within their reach.
"My husband and self became converted to Mormonism in
the Eastern State through the preaching of a traveling missionary. We were both
enthusiastic converts, and speedily removed to Zion, bringing with us two little
ones and a fair share of this world’s goods. While on the plains, we heard of
the doctrine of polygamy; but I was in such an abnormal state of mind, being so
completely infatuated with the new religion, that I received the announcement of
the revelation with comparatively little astonishment. I was so convinced that
the Saints were God's chosen people that it seemed impossible to me that they
could err in anything, even though their practices should be entirely at
variance with all the ideas I had held hitherto in regard to these subjects. I
remember one old lady making the remark that it (polygamy) must be a dreadful
cross for the women to bear, and answered her, ' Whom the Lord loveth he
chasteneth.-' But this was before the cross was given me to carry myself. My
sentiments in regard to the Lord having anything to do with it [76] underwent a
decided change after I had personal experience of the doctrine in my own family.
"Of course, after we had been in Zion for awhile my husband was
admonished to 'live his religion.' When I found the cross likely to come home to me,
although I began to feel very different about it, I had still sufficient faith in the
system as a divine principle, not to violently oppose my husband. I told him it would
break my heart to see another - supersede me in his affections; but that I loved him -too
well to peril his future glory, and prevent his exaltation in the next world, consequently
I would sacrifice my own feelings, and not oppose him, if he would promise me solemnly
that I should always be first in his esteem and regard. This he readily did, and I went
with him to the Endowment House, and gave him as wife a young girl, a daughter of one of
the high priests who had been chosen for him. It is only justice to say, that however my
feelings were wounded by his conduct in after days, there was no courtship or love-making
before they were sealed. He was simply told by the priesthood that she would make a
.suitable wife for him, and he obeyed counsel. He used frequently to say to me that it
would make but little difference to him whom he should take as a second, that he should do
it only from religious conviction in order to .secure future exaltation, and that I should
always retain the first place in his heart.
“It may seem incredible to outsider that the priesthood
should take it upon themselves to order [77] men to marry certain girls, and
that they should obey; but any one who has ever been a Mormon knows that this is
a very common occurrence. Polygamists who have large families, if they are men
high in authority, will often thrust two of their daughters on some man at the
same time, and it is very seldom that he will dare refuse; others again, will,
like Jacob of old, make the best of a Leah, in order to win a Rachel.
"While we were in the Endowment House, at the very altar, a
realization of what I had done,-given my husband to another woman,-seemed to rush over me,
and after one moment of agony that is indescribable, I fainted at his feet. He seemed also
to realize the situation; but it was to late for regrets, and the consequences had to be
borne as well as we could.
"The young bride was brought home to my house, and became one of
our family, no provision for separate housekeeping being made for her. I tried to feel
kindly toward her; for after I had consented to the marriage, I was woman enough to try
and treat her well; although, at times, the very sight of her at my table, or sitting in
my little sewing-room with my husband at her side, almost drove me wild with jealousy,
even before I perceived that she was using all her arts, and every means at her command,
to win his affections from me. She was a true daughter of her father,-a man who stepped on
hearts as if they were stones,-and, little by little, I discovered how she was ensnaring
my husband, getting him so [78] completely in her power, and under her control, that he
seemed to have no thoughts for any one but her. In less than six months, her influence
over him became so strong that she did her bidding as if he were a mere child, while wife
and little ones were totally neglected. When he entered the house, he would rush off to
her apartment, unmindful of me, or the children whom he had always met with a smile and a
kiss. I cannot describe the change that came over our home in those few months; and when I
found that I, his true and loyal wife, who had left home, friends, and kindred to follow
him to the promised land, was being neglected and almost totally discarded for a girl
whose name we did not even know one short year before, I became nearly insane with grief
and remorse. I suffered the bitterest kind of remorse, for in reality I was more to blame
in the outset than he; and I could not disguise from myself the fact that I had dug a
grave, and buried my happiness with my own hands.
"Of course, I made matters worse constantly by my tears and
reproaches; for, after awhile, it became impossible for me to control myself. The house
was a perfect hell, and every polygamous household is. No matter what the advocates of
polygamy may say to the contrary, I affirm here, and I wish it could be circulated all
over the United States, that I have never known a, polygamist family, and I have been
intimate with many from the highest in authority down, where hatred and discord did not
exist. I have known families who [79] were extolled as models of respectability and
exemplary conduct, where the most disgraceful quarrels were of daily occurrence, and I
have also known instances where the wives have scarcely risen from their knees after
family devotions, before they would begin to quarrel, and call each other by the lowest
kind of epithets. And what is more I defy any man or woman in this Territory, to cite one instance of a polygamous household where there
is anything approaching harmony,-where there is not bickering, constant jealousy and
heart-aches, even where the semblance of good relations is most rigidly observed.
"I could name one family that has been frequently held up as a
model of purity, loveliness, and piety, the polygamous wives and daughters being
designated as ' tabernacles, wherein dwelt holy spirits,' and I know for a fact that one
of hose plural wives tried to poison another whom she thought was the recipient of too
much attention from the husband. It is now no secret, but a matter of common talk, that
more than one of those lovely and pious daughters are so lost to even the outward forms of
decency that their best friends have abandoned all hope of their reformation. When I look
back and think of what I have known to happen, as well as personally suffered, I become
almost desperate, and am ready to exclaim, 'Can there be a God, when such a system is
permitted to grow and flourish in what is called a Christian
land! '
"I have been digressing from my narrative, but [80] my readers
must bear with me, and permit me to have my own way in telling my story. I am entirely
unaccustomed to writing for the press, and must relate facts and occurrences in my own
simple language and manner, trusting that truth will atone for the many other
deficiencies.
"I told how I could not longer control myself when I saw my
husband so devoted to Louise, and what exasperated me still more was the fact that she
knew how to use my folly to her own advantage." No matter how enraged I was, she was
always cool; but her calm and often silent scorn was far more difficult to endure than
rage would have been. One day, after a scene which was more than usually tempestuous on my
part, she said to me, 'Sister Sarah, it seems as if you ought to be able to control your
temper by this time. Can you not see that your fury only makes brother B. love me the
more?' I was so maddened by that word love, that I threw the glass I was wiping at her
head, shattering it, and inflicting quite a severe flesh wound upon her forehead. If I had
been sure that the blow would have killed her, it would have been all the same, for I was
too enraged to think of consequences.
Hon. Eli
H. Murray
Governor of Utah
"This episode angered my husband so much that he threatened to
provide a separate home for Louise, and also to leave me entirely. I did not care, and
told him so; and I presume he would have done it at once, if I had not fallen ill
suddenly, the result of grief and excitement. Whether to avoid scandal, [81] or whether he
still felt some of the old affection for I do not know; but he certainly gave me every and
attention, and nursed me as tenderly as if there had never been any estrangement between
us. Sometimes she would share his night watches by my bedside, and when she could not be
present in the room, she managed that another person should, if possible, so as not to
allow me any opportunity of talking with him alone, fearing lest I should regain my old
influence over him.
"One night, when they thought I was asleep,-I always feigned to
be asleep, if I were not really so, when she was in the room,-they were talking about me
and my illness, and my husband said, 'We ought not to blame Sarah too much; it certainly
must be a great trial to her, for she loved me devotedly.' 'That may be so,' she replied,
'but William, you know that I love you just as well she ever has; yes, better, for she is
colder hearted naturally than I am. I know that I should die if you should ever turn
against me, or take another whom you would love more than you do me.' I felt as if I could
spring from my bed, and choke her, but I controlled myself, and waited for his reply. 'You
need never fear that, Louise,' he said, ' I shall never care for any one but you.'
"Strange to relate, I lay there quietly, not giving any sign
that I had heard one word. I suppose my feelings were in part paralyzed by grief, but
still experienced a thousand deaths in those few moments. Whatever of love and esteem
there was remaining [82] for my husband, seemed to be struck dead as it were by one blow,
and I lay awake the rest of that long, wearisome night, pondering and planning what I
could do to render them as miserable and unhappy as they had made me. I made a vow which I
only kept too well, that he should care for
another besides her, and that I would live to see her experience the same torments I had
gone through, which had killed all that was lovable or womanly in my nature, and had left
me but a wreck of my former self, in body, mind, and soul.
"I laid my plans well, and was not in particular haste in trying
to put them into execution. After my recovery, my husband abandoned the idea of furnishing
another home for Louise, and we lived on together as before. But Louise and I seemed to
have changed places and dispositions. I became so indifferent to him that his attentions
to her no longer annoyed me or gave me pain. Consequently, she did not have the
satisfaction of seeing me get into a temper, and this of itself seemed to irritate her
beyond measure. I used to go about my work, apparently so intent on my own affairs that I
did not care to notice either of them, while all the time I was thinking what a glorious
revenge I should have some day on both of them. Louise was no housekeeper, in fact, she
greatly disliked domestic labor of any kind, so I exerted myself more than ever to always
have everything neat and comfortable. I always had as good meals as possible, for William
was something of an epicure in his way, and enjoyed [83] the good things of this life. He
was an excellent provider, so far as materials for cooking were concerned, and I always
made the best of them.
I wish I could adequately express my thoughts and feelings at this
period of our lives. I did not feel jealous at William's devotion to Louise, for love was
dead; I hated her, and nearly hated him, and treated them both with supreme indifference;
yet, when lying awake as I often did for hours during the night, thinking of my position
as an unloved and unloving wife, and of the happy years we had spent together before this
unhappiness, came, my heart would become as tender as a child's, and I would shed many
bitter tears. Then, when I thought woman who
occupied the place that was rightfully mine, I would banish all regret, fight it out by
myself, and the next morning would be again the hardened, heartless woman, whose main
object in life was to secure revenge.
It may be thought strange that I have not spoken of my children.
During those dark days, they were a great comfort to me, and a great sorrow too, for the
poor innocents had to bear the consequences of their parents' transgression. The place
they called home was that only in name, and the scenes to which they were daily witnesses,
were enough to ruin any children. But I am thankful for one thing, at all this had the
effect of making them despise polygamy, so that they were never entangled in its meshes.
“Louise had had been sealed to my husband for nearly [84]
two years before she had a child, and when a little girl was born, it seemed to
me that she was not over pleased. She was naturally indolent, and her training
had not remedied that defect; consequently, any labor or responsibility was
irksome to her, and the idea of having a child to care for was not what she
desired, and was far from being agreeable. She had been treated like a spoiled,
petted child by William, and since she had lived in my family, she had spent the
most of her time in dressing and making herself captivating to my husband; but
that could not last forever.
During her illness, my family cares and nursing; her in addition,
were too much for me, and William told me to get some help. An emigration was expected in
that very evening, and I went to the tithing yard to secure a girl. I found a young
English girl about sixteen years old, as fresh and pretty as a picture, and strong and
willing to work. She was a very good Saint too; and, as I soon discovered, was not in the
least averse to her religion, and securing future exaltation by plurality.
“English Mollie, as the children named her, had been in
the house only a few days, when William remarked what a bright, pretty girl she
was, and so smart for her age. This remark set me thinking that perhaps the way
was opened for that revenge I was so longing for, and before long I had my plan
all perfected. Women who have never been placed in a similar position will
probably say that I was a very wicked, designing wretch. Well, if I was, it [85]
was polygamy that me so, and I fearlessly assert that the system is responsible
for the ruin of more women than can ever be estimated, or even imagined.
“My plan was, that English Mollie should be my husband’s
third wife, and I felt sure there would be no difficulty in accomplishing it.
William had very soon forgotten his promises to me, and I imagined that he would
not be any more faithful to Louise. My first step was to insist upon a separate
home for her. I pleaded my inability to care for such a large family any longer,
and I was determined that I soon carried this point, and a few weeks found
Louise in another home, a little cottage not far from us. English Mollie went
with her to assist in getting settled but came back to me in the course of a few
days.
“In a very short time the trouble began, as I had
foreseen that it would. William would come to my house complaining that he could
not get a meal fit to eat, that the house was always untidy, the baby crying
continually, and things generally in a muddle. He wanted Mollie to go back
again, when I told him plainly that there was only one condition upon which I
would permit her to return, that she should be sealed to him first. He seemed a
little surprised at the proposal, but did not object. After a man has taken the
first plural wife, he can take twenty without any compunctions of conscience.
But he was afraid that Louise would never consent, and perhaps Mollie would not
be willing. I answered him that [86] it was not necessary to inform Louise about
it, that she would get over it as I had; and as for Mollie, I would undertake to
get her consent. I told him that as Louise was such a poor manager, it was
absolutely necessary to have some one to keep things in order, and Mollie had
grown very competent even in the short time she had been under my tuition.
"When I found him quite willing to be sealed to Mollie, I
consented for her to go there again, in order to straighten up matters, but I extorted a
solemn promise from him not to inform Louise of his matrimonial intentions, for the
present. Mollie also was pledged to secrecy,-it had taken just ten minutes for me to
convince her that it was her duty to enter polygamy,-and we arranged that the marriage
should not take place for a few months, or until Mollie should have time to get ready some
wedding garments, which I had promised to assist her in making.
"Mollie had been at the cottage about two weeks when she came to
my house one evening, saying that Louise had sent her away, ordering her never to return
again. It seems that William and she had been indulging in a little surreptitious
love-making, and Louise had discovered them. She was very indignant, and in a day or two
came down to me, almost boiling over with rage at 'Mollie's brazen conduct 'as she
expressed it. I apparently agreed with her, in order to throw her off her guard, and said
that Mollie was only to remain in my house until she could find another home. I also said
that she had another home in view, but I did not
say where that home was.
[87] “On account of the circumstances, we hastened the
preparations, and in about two weeks we had everything ready. I went with them
to the Endowment House, and then invited them home with me to remain two or
three days until he could furnish her rooms at the cottage. I told William that
he had better place her in charge at once, and Louise would come to her senses
after a while, a I had.
“After returning from the Endowment House, I word to
Louise to come and take supper with me as had company I would like her to meet.
She declined because the baby was so cross, but would come later in the evening.
When she came in, we were all seated in the parlor, and I shall never forget the
satisfaction, I may say exultation, I felt as I said: 'Louise, allow me to
present brother B. and his third wife.
They were married today, and will come and live with you next week.'.
She turned scarlet, then pale as death, and I thought she was going
to faint. But instead, she broke into a terrible passion of rage, which frightened all the
rest, and brought in some of the neighbors to see what was the matter. But I was not
frightened, and I went up to her and said, 'Louise, you must not indulge in so much
temper, you must control yourself; don't you know it will only make brother B. love Mollie
all the better? 'At these words she into tears and said: I can see it all now; this your
work, and you have done it for revenge!
'You are not far out of the way,' was my reply, and now you will have
an opportunity of knowing what you made me suffer when you stole my husband's [88] heart.
You will also know what it is to be an unloved and neglected wife.' She left my house
cursing me, and calling down on my head the vengeance of Heaven for having been the
instrument of so much deception being practiced on her.
"To tell of the dreadful life they lived afterward, and how
Mollie succeeded in obtaining the mastery over him, so that Louise was completely ignored,
the sufferings of the latter, who had really loved William and her sorrowful death some
years later, would more than fill a large volume. He was a just man, so far as providing
for his families in accordance with his means, so she did not want for temporal comforts;
but she literally died of a broken heart, when she found it impossible to win him back. It
did not matter to me how devoted he was to Mollie, so long as he provided for my children,
for my love for him was buried too deep ever to be resurrected on earth.
"Women of America, honored, loved, and loving wives,
see what the awful system of polygamy has done for me ! I was a religious
enthusiast. I was a devoted wife, would almost have sacrificed my own hopes of
heaven to add to my husband’s happiness. I was accounted an amiable woman, and
would not have wronged the meanest or lowest of my sex. But polygamy has not
only robbed me of my earthly happiness, it has also deprived me of all future
hope, for I have no faith in any religion whatever. It made me the meanest kind
of a deceiver in carrying out a plan of revenge, and caused me to glory in the
sufferings of another woman. It made me so [89] unwomanly as to pick out another
wife for my husband, when I felt in my own soul that polygamy was no more
ordered by God than it was in accordance with the laws of man, and I did it
simply to make another woman unhappy. It has made me lose all love for the
husband of my youth, and the father of my children, and left me a cold,
calculating, heartless woman, only enduring his presence for the sake of the
material comforts provided for me. It has taken from me all that I held dear in
this world, and left me no hope for the world to come.
"Women of America, can you hesitate when your assistance is
implored for the overthrow of this vile system which renders women a shame and a disgrace
to their sex ?"
We omit the latter portion of this woman's story, relating how she
became an apostate, because it is almost identical with those of other women who have
broken the chains of Mormonism. They all have about the same experience to
undergo,-slander, persecution, and social ostracism from the Mormons. The only difference
between the present and the past is, that now they have not quite so much difficulty in
obtaining employment, as there are more Gentiles in the Territory, and consequently, less
absolute dependence on those who dare not disobey counsel in their treatment of the
unfortunates who have laid themselves under the ban of the priesthood. Still, she is a
brave woman who even today severs her connection with Mormonism, unless she has means to
leave Utah immediately, and place herself beyond the reach of all Mormon influences.
Next: CHAPTER VII. A VICTIM OF PIOUS WORDS
Married to a Missionary.-The Awakening.-Tempted to Murder Her Own
Children.-Apostasy.-More Demon than Woman.
Back: CHAPTER V. WOMAN'S CONSENT
First Wife's Story.-Counseled to Humble His Wife.-"Wives Have no Rights in
this Territory."-A Mother's Reason for Going to Utah.-The New House.- The
Baby.-Persecutions. - Husband Persuaded.-Death of the Baby.-Wife Reluctantly
Consents.-Consequences.-A Death-Bed Scene.-Escape
Index: INTRODUCTION AND TABLE OF CONTENTS
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